Bachelorism

Written on Saturday, May 05, 2007 by Rohan Koshy

Ahh yes i feared that someday my present living conditions would reach the those shambolic levels of laziness that i would find it really funny to write about it. I live with three other bachelors. Maybe that's enough information for anyone. In case you don't read the rest of this post you can be comforted in the knowledge that all the cliches about bachelors that you've heard are all absolutely true. All those who are intent on wasting their life's moments can read on.

Hmmm where does one start. I think ill start with the fact that the house in a 2BHK row house with a multiple level terrace. The terrace allows for very relaxing beer drinking sessions on Saturday evenings. Usually these nights entail four bachelors venting their frustrations at generally everything that goes on in their life. That's the good news. Now comes the bad news. Well we can't start the bad news without a special mention to the ants and the dead cockroaches that inhabit our home. They live amongst us and enjoy a very nice comfortable stay while we pay their rent. The water we drink very often has ants (and their families) taking a nice swim
to save themselves from the heat. Dead cockroach wings can be found in many places since we kill the cockroaches and the ants eat everything leaving the wings. In essence we have a symbiotic relationship with them.

On every window and door we find that cobwebs have found a comfortable home, one they know will never be disturbed. Even the bedsheets that now serve as curtains have learnt to live with the cobwebs. Dust and dirt are everywhere, most notably changing the colour of the fan to what maybe now an indescribable colour. I'm not sure what the fan colour was originally.

The TV lies on the floor in a pocket of dust which of course will never be cleaned because we only clean dirt which is directly in line of sight. The washing machine has a unique position right next to the kitchen sink. So the same water that we use to wash our 'bartans' is the same that washes our clothes. The water after washing proceeds to directly flood our veranda. This has had a unique effect that plants i.e. weeds have started to grow right in the middle of the veranda thanks to the detergent rich output from the washing machine.

The switchboard for one the bedrooms lies out of it's socket exposing wires to anyone who doesn't like his life anymore ( i just sweeped of four ants off the computer table..). I've failed to mention that clothes lie everywhere since that is the only way we can keep track of where they are. So now my pants lie right next to my books for easy access. All the shaving equipment lies right on top of the fridge. I did buy a bulb (in January) because my bathroom light was out. I haven't fixed it yet...so i just have a bath in the dark at night. Next to my bed lies a bottle of water which was filled the last time when my old roommate moved out in November. I'm still not lazy enough to drink that water though.One of the bathrooms is dirty as hell. Thank god i use the one that's pretty clean.

Beer bottles lie in most areas of the house particularly on the roof. The only thing outnumbering it are the number of milk bottles. No wait the plastic bags and associated kachra outnumbers that too... We try to shove the all of it under the stairs...unsuccessfully of course...
Well that's as much that can really be said about home sweet home. Thank god nobody visits.

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